Line Upon Line, Growing a Little at a Time

This morning, I awoke to a dream that I could only remember one thing about:  for some reason I was in a cave and was observing the formation of stalactites and stalagmites.  For those of you who don't know, these cave features are created after many years (thousands in some cases) of water dripping off of the roof of the cave.  This water contains minerals that are deposited on the ceiling of the cave as the droplets leave the roof or the floor as they hit the ground.  The small amount of minerals build up over time to create the beautiful and sometimes very large formations that make up caves.

The thought struck me that that is like our own lives:  things of such a small nature build up over time to form the person that we are.  Perhaps that's why God asks us to do such small things every day, things like praying, reading the scriptures, being kind to one another, etc.  These small things are the things that - if done consistently over time, will lead to us becoming the people God wants us to be.  It really is the small and simple things by which great things are brought to pass.

After pondering this, I also realized how much farther along this year I am with dealing with the struggles of my anxiety disorder.  I've been trying to conquer it, doing those small and simple things every day, and most especially during trials to continue to rely on Heavenly Father for help.  While I am not yet healed from my illness, yet I am much further along, and I am more able to handle the hardships that God gives me and allows me to go through.

I thought of all that I've been through the past month or so.  How would I have handled that a year ago?  What about 5 years ago?  What about a decade ago?  I've gone from wondering if my anxiety disorder would keep me from ever holding a job, from going to college, from getting married. I have a Bachelor's degree, I'm working 3 jobs, one of them a private business teaching students, and I have a wonderful wife and at the end of May, we'll also have a little one (not sure 100% on boy or girl yet, though we think boy).  Yes, it's hard.  Yes, it's painful.  Yes, there are even days where I don't feel like I want to or even can leave the house, but I'm doing it.  It is an amazing thing, and such a great blessing from Heavenly Father.  I was grateful to remember the remnants of that dream, too, because it reminds me that God's plan is a plan of Eternal Progression.

I had a friend talking to me about this:  sometimes the world pushes on us a different model than that in the plan of happiness.  As Latter Day Saints, we know that God wants us to become like Him, and Christ has even commanded us, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect." (Matt 5:48)  However, our culture today is saturated with the diabolical idea of having things all at once, instead of gaining things a little at a time as is prudent and expedient.  This makes us feel sometimes that we have to be like God all at once, that we have to be perfect all at once.  While we should earnestly strive every day of our lives to live up to the ideal and example that our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ have given us, we would do well to remember that their way is that of eternal progression:  line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little, (see Isaiah 28:10, 13, and D&C 98:12) from now until eternity.  We don't become gods overnight, nor was God's intended purpose for us in mortality to every try and do so.  We are to do the best we can to become a little better every day of our lives.

I hope we can all remember this, and especially not be discouraged when we don't become what we want all at once.  Whether it is like me in striving to overcome a lifelong struggle with mental illness, or whether it is in our daily struggles with sin and personal weakness, let's all remember to be forgiving of ourselves.  And let's especially remember our Savior's love and our Father's love for us, His children.

Love you all, my friends and fellow-sufferers in Christ!