The Lord Can Strengthen Us

I've been facing some extremely difficult trials the past week and a half: stress, strain, and busy-ness beyond my body's ability to cope pushed me to the breaking point.  A persistent cold that turned into a fever made me lose all of my appetite.  I was hardly eating, I wasn't getting enough sleep, and I was running myself ragged with work and other engagements (one of which was my wife's performance on 2nd Oboe and English Horn for the Nutcracker:  one of the highlights of the week!!).  All of this culminated with me getting pretty ill over the weekend.  Saturday afternoon and through the night was spent sleeping.  After a brief scare Sunday morning, I stayed home from church and slept most of the day also.
Sunday morning, I had gotten up to use the restroom.  While I was washing my hands I started to feel a little dizzy, and the next thing I knew, my wife was waking me up from off of the floor where I had passed out.  Luckily, I just bumped my knee, and no permanent damage, but still:  pretty scary.
All that being said, yesterday I stayed home from work to get totally recovered.  I was going in to work very early the next morning, and so my wife and I decided to go to sleep pretty early.  It may have been a combination of a lot of things, but my heart was pounding, and I could not get to sleep.  I tried all night long to fall asleep, and had been hoping and praying for sleep to help me both get feeling better but also to get through a day at work without passing out.  Sleep didn't come, and came time for me to get up.  I was a little frightened about what work might bring, how I would do everything necessary, and - in my difficulties with anxiety - what those at work would think of me for missing work the previous day.  I prayed most especially for strength to get through the day.

I got to work, and -while I may have been a little miserable with a cough and aches - I got through the day!  I made it by the end, and I got home and rested.  It made me think of the scripture in 2 Nephi 25:23: "For we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do." I had done all I could to get healthy, and they needed me at work.  Not only that, I needed to work to make sure my wife and I are getting enough to help pay for our future family.  We had paid our tithing fully, I had been seeking opportunities to rest and allow my body to recover, and I had even recognized when I couldn't make it to work, and I had stayed home when I felt appropriate.  The only thing I did not do (and I wish I would've done this) is seek a priesthood blessing.  This is partly because of my struggle in talking to others and asking for others to go out of their way for me.  It's certainly not easy, but I know if I had received a priesthood blessing, I would've been so much better off.  Either way, the Lord helped make up for my weaknesses, and gave me the strength to get through the day and finish off well.

Once again, I am grateful for my trials.  I don't like them, but I know how beneficial they are for me.  I am grateful at the very least for the opportunity to learn greater gratitude for my challenges and trials.  Our Heavenly Father sure is amazing!  :)