Gratitude

At this time of year, I've been thinking more about giving thanks for the things that we have, and being grateful for our many blessings.

I was doing some reading in a book, talking about listening to people.  It mentioned that parents with teenagers, and teenagers with parents, sometimes get ideas about the way each other are.  The parents get the idea that their teenagers are rebellious, and the teenagers get into their mind that their parents are controlling.  What happens then, is that they look for those attributes that confirm their beliefs about each other.  They see only the behavior that shows them what they already suppose to be true, even to the point of ignoring the things that disprove these ideas.

I thought about this in our relationships with our earthly parents:  Heavenly Father asks us to honor our mother and our father because it focuses us on the good things they have done, in the very least in bringing us into this world.  In some circumstances, this may be all, but most often they have done countless things to show love in the way that they best can.

I also thought about our relationship with our Heavenly Father, how He wants us to love Him and be grateful to Him.  Loving God helps and blesses us so much.  As Elder Uchtdorf has said:

No, God does not need us to love Him. But oh, how we need to love God!

For what we love determines what we seek.

What we seek determines what we think and do.

What we think and do determines who we are—and who we will become.

We are created in the image of our heavenly parents; we are God’s spirit children. Therefore, we have a vast capacity for love—it is part of our spiritual heritage. What and how we love not only defines us as individuals; it also defines us as a church. Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ (The Love of God, General Conference, Nov. 2009).

Elder Bednar showed how obeying the law of tithing gives us blessings.  He said:

The imagery of the “windows” of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.

For example, a subtle but significant blessing we receive is the spiritual gift of gratitude that enables our appreciation for what we have to constrain desires for what we want. A grateful person is rich in contentment. An ungrateful person suffers in the poverty of endless discontentment (The Windows of Heaven, General Conference, Nov. 2013).

These different ideas have made me realize how, when we are grateful, are minds become focused on the good things that are all around us, the blessings that we enjoy, the great things God has done for each of us.  Living with an "attitude of gratitude," or the spirit of gratitude which the Spirit of God, helps us find the happiness already all around us.  It helps us to focus on the positive things, the great things of life instead of the negative.  Indeed, it helps us to find gratitude for even our most difficult struggles and trials.

It is so neat to continue to ponder on how the commandments God has given us are to help us be happy, help us find peace and joy in this life and the world to come and to change into the people He would have us be.

I wanted to end with this neat Mormon Message:



Love you all, dear friends!

Fear Not, for the Lord thy God is with thee

Looking through an old flash drive, I found a hymn for which I wrote the lyrics and the music.  It was one that I originally wrote for some friends about to leave on missions, but which become special to me in my struggle with anxiety.  These are the words:


Though brow may sweat under scorching sun;
Though ears that hear thee seem be none;
Though wretched cloud and stormy day,
Never leave but seem to stay:
Fear not, for the Lord thy God is with thee.

Though chill of winter bite thy skin;
Though in the cold thy clothes seem thin;
Though wickedness and darkness grow,
And all to thee seem but a foe:
Fear not, for the Lord thy God is with thee.

Though sorrow fill thy soul to brim;
Though prospects in thy life seem grin;
Though suffering seems thy constant lot;
Heed these words: Fear Not!
Fear not, for the Lord thy God is with thee!


Especially struggling with those social anxiety problems, I felt (and still often feel) afraid of others.  Yet, the Lord is with us in our trials, and I am so grateful for all of His help and support.

(Note:  this hymn is available to download for anyone who wishes on my other blog:  Tim Rohwer:  Composer, under Hymn Arrangements and Sacred Works)

Service

I woke up feeling wonderful this morning.  Especially after struggling so much this past week, I was wondering how I came to be feeling so good.  One thing I realized was that I had been making sure to serve others lately.  It's been neat to see how serving others really blesses their lives, how doing even small things can bless others.  It was also neat to ponder how it blesses our own lives as well.  For every sacrifice that we make, Heavenly Father will repay us, and the greater the sacrifice, the greater the blessings.

The way I see it, when we are struggling and serve others, we don't think so much about ourselves but start thinking more about other people, and we remember that other people struggle and have trials too, even if our trials may seem very heavy at times.  Not only that, but lifting others' burdens really does help lighten our own and make them more bearable.

This also made me think of when the Savior talks about losing our lives for His sake:  "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it" (Matt. 16:25).

I also found this wonderful advice from President Monson:

God bless all who endeavor to be their brother’s keeper, who give to ameliorate suffering, who strive with all that is good within them to make a better world. Have you noticed that such individuals have a brighter smile? Their footsteps are more certain. They have an aura about them of contentment and satisfaction—even dedication—for one cannot participate in helping others without experiencing a rich blessing himself.  (Our Brothers' Keepers, June 1998 Ensign)

Look at the life of the Savior:  even during the most difficult time of His life, even when He was carrying the cross to Calvary, He found ways to serve others and bless their lives.  As He was lead to Calvary and heard the people mourning, He chose to teach them and warn them (see Luke 23:27-31).  When He was on the cross, He comforted the repentant malefactor (Luke 23:40-43).  When He saw His suffering mother, He was thinking of her needs when He charged the disciple "whom he loved" to take care of her (John 19:26-27).  He even prayed for the Father to forgive the Roman soldiers who mocked Him and nailed Him to the cross, who "knew not what [they did]" (Luke 23:34).

If you are struggling, if you are having a hard time with whatever challenges you face, find an opportunity to help another person, whether that is by shoveling a driveway, raking a lawn, delivering cookies, saying hi, or just listening as someone's talking to you.  It will help remind you of the love of God, it will fill you with His love and peace as you get to be like the Savior who always took the time to help others even in His own distress.

Love you all, my dear friends!

Submission to Heavenly Father's will, a key to happiness during trials

I've been on the mend since a couple of difficult battles with anxiety, and one thing that I have once again realized is the value of meekness, of being willing to submit to Heavenly Father's will in all things.

When I came home last night, I had been struggling, wondering why I have been faced with such difficult trials at times, and what to do about.  I happened to be reading in Mosiah, and came across this scripture which really hit home to me:

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father. (Mosiah 3:19)

I realized that I haven't really been as submissive as I could be, and that that could help me to be more able to handle and understand the trials that I face.  It would especially help me to feel more at peace with my situation and my circumstances.  At work today, one of the managers was talking to an employee who was complaining about his lot.  He quoted a small bit from Alfred, Lord Tennyson's "The Charge of the Light Brigade:"

Theirs not to make reply,

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to do and die.

This hit me as I realized that I haven't been trusting Heavenly Father to let trials come and let whatever happens happen.  I was very grateful for the reminder from the Spirit to submit my will to Heavenly Father's, so I can become more like my Savior, who said "Not my will, but thine be done."  I continue to be so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who gives me trials even when I feel ready to give up and "would that I might not drink the bitter cup and shrink," who not only still allows me to go through those trials for my own benefit, but who has given me so many ways to strengthen me and help me to pass through those trials.

Don't Give up: Gain Your Personal Promised Land

New circumstances have made me ponder about things in my life.  In particular, the new job I have been working at, being married, soon having a little one.  Many portentous things, really.  It has made me think of the Jaredites in the wilderness.  First of all, they were promised a land and the Lord wanted them to have it:  "And the Lord would not suffer that they should stop beyond the sea in the wilderness, but he would that they should come forth even unto the land of promise, which was choice above all other lands, which the Lord God had preserved for a righteous people" (Ether 2:7).  He wanted them to go there to receive the blessings He had in store for them.  But they stopped and didn't go all the way.  They rested in a good land, but they hadn't yet gained the greatest blessings.

So there they were for four years, until the Lord chastened the brother of Jared because He hadn't been praying.  Life got easy there, and they didn't continue to seek out their potential blessings.  They repented, and they made it!  They made it to the promised land and received all of the promised blessings of the Lord. (Ether 2:13-15)

This made me think about how I felt inspired to stop working at my other job for a time, and how this really pushed me to find a new job.  I was hesitant, but felt it was right.  I gave up a comfortable position, and I relied on God to lead me to something new, to something better.  Eventually, I wound up at this job again, but at a new position that my managers would've never considered if I had still been working there.  Nor would I have gained this new job that I've been working at.  It is so wonderful to see how trusting the Lord leads us to gain our own personal promised land:  we get to enjoy those greater blessings when we don't give up and keep going with faith in the Lord, even when the step of faith into the darkness can be quite frightening and even overwhelming.

The Great Commandment: Loving Others is Enough

I had an extremely hard day at work today, and most especially after still struggling with mild to moderate anxiety.  Making things more difficult, there was a gentleman who there was no doubt was quite upset at me, or perhaps just upset in general.  Especially after struggling with fatigue, tiredness, stress, a cold, and the anxiety all together made it much more difficult to focus and really try to understand how to get organized in this situation and to resolve all of the work I had to do.

I left work feeling down-hearted and somewhat miserable.  The only consolation was that I was able to make some new friends and to be kind to others.  As I was driving home listening to General Conference, I listened as Elder Eyering quoted the Savior, and I felt Heavenly Father letting me know that it was still a good day, because through it all I tried to love others and to love Him and keep Him in my thoughts.  This is what was quoted:

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

 38 This is the first and great commandment.

 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.  (Matt 22:36-40)

What had  been my focus? What was it that I really tried to do today?  Though I was so imperfect in my work, yet I was most certainly striving to live the Great Commandment, to love God with my heart, soul, and mind and to love my neighbor as myself.  What more could be asked of me?

It made me think about my own difficulties with anxiety, and related to this:  OCD.  I focus on the little things sometimes, and these consume me to the point that if I don't get all the little, mundane details right, I feel dejected and worthless.  Yet God and Christ have such a different, such a wonderful and an amazing standard:  love them and love others.  This can be hard in and of itself, but when it does become our primary focus, it makes everything else so much easier!  I don't need to think about those little details as much as I do the big picture:  how I keep God close and how I treat and feel about others.

Also coming to my mind in my distress, especially when I was feeling sorry for those were not very nice to me in my difficulties, was the desire to pray for them, that they might be filled with love, that their hearts might be softened even a little bit.  These words from the Lord to Moroni came to me:

36 And it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord that he would give unto the Gentiles grace, that they might have charity.

 37 And it came to pass that the Lord said unto me: If they have not charity it mattereth not unto thee, thou hast been faithful; wherefore, thy garments shall be made clean. And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father. (Ether 12:36-37)

I realized that perhaps my desires were for them to be nicer to me, so that I wouldn't be as afraid.  Yet, I cannot do anything about their choices, nor their attitude.  It is ultimately up to them what they will choose.  All that I can do is love, truly love to the best of my ability.  That is enough, and Christ will help make me strong enough to handle their unkindness if I need to bear it.

God sure is wonderful, and His Gospel amazing!  Though I may still be in a lot of pain, and the difficulties and trials I faced todayare still hard to bear, I know that God will strengthen me in my need.  It will still be painful, but more bearable with a knowledge of God's love and His Son's Atonement.

Love you all, my dear friends and whoever may read this!

"For God hath not given us the Spirit of fear, but of love, and of power, and of a sound mind."  (2 Tim. 1:7)

Drink the Bitter Cup: When Trials Come, Keep Going!

For reasons both Brooke and I are not entirely certain of, perhaps added stress in our lives, perhaps some difficulties in my sleeping patterns or dietary habits, I have come face to face with the bitter cup of severe bouts of my anxiety again.  As in other instances, this has come after a period where I have been better able to cope with the difficulties I have been facing and have been more capable of handling the stresses and difficulties of life.  I have even almost felt that the long (22 years now) battle with mental illness was coming to a close.  But after a few great days of handling all of the stress and even being more assertive and better able to work with, serve, and love others than ever before, I have once again been faced with a terribly painful drop, where the world seems ugly and all around me are a foe.

Yet, I take comfort in knowing that God still does love me.  Whatever it is causing this, Heavenly Father has allowed me to go through this fiery trial, and He will deliver me again.  I have especially thought of what Elder Holland talked about it his talk from this last General Conference:

So how do you best respond when mental or emotional challenges confront you or those you love? Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said to the Relief Society sisters so movingly last Saturday evening: “That love never changes. … It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God’s love is there for you whether or not you feel you deserve [it]. It is simply always there.” Never, ever doubt that, and never harden your heart. Faithfully pursue the time-tested devotional practices that bring the Spirit of the Lord into your life. Seek the counsel of those who hold keys for your spiritual well-being. Ask for and cherish priesthood blessings. Take the sacrament every week, and hold fast to the perfecting promises of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior’s own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead.  (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, Like a Broken Vessel, October 2013 General Conference)

Especially on my mind is that last line:  "If the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead."  I think that is my current lot, not to have relief right away, but to do my best to understand that those around me may not really hate or even dislike me, to realize that things will get better even if I can't see that at the moment.  But even if things don't get better, all I need to do is "be strong," and keep on going the best I can.  The Savior lived to see one of His closest friends and companions betray Him and His other friends to abandon Him.  From another talk in General Conference by Elder Holland:

With all the conviction of my soul I testify that He did please His Father perfectly and that a perfect Father did not forsake His Son in that hour. Indeed, it is my personal belief that in all of Christ’s mortal ministry the Father may never have been closer to His Son than in these agonizing final moments of suffering. Nevertheless, that the supreme sacrifice of His Son might be as complete as it was voluntary and solitary, the Father briefly withdrew from Jesus the comfort of His Spirit, the support of His personal presence. It was required, indeed it was central to the significance of the Atonement, that this perfect Son who had never spoken ill nor done wrong nor touched an unclean thing had to know how the rest of humankind—us, all of us—would feel when we did commit such sins. For His Atonement to be infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone.

But Jesus held on. He pressed on. The goodness in Him allowed faith to triumph even in a state of complete anguish. The trust He lived by told Him in spite of His feelings that divine compassion is never absent, that God is always faithful, that He never flees nor fails us. When the uttermost farthing had then been paid, when Christ’s determination to be faithful was as obvious as it was utterly invincible, finally and mercifully, it was “finished.” Against all odds and with none to help or uphold Him, Jesus of Nazareth, the living Son of the living God, restored physical life where death had held sway and brought joyful, spiritual redemption out of sin, hellish darkness, and despair. With faith in the God He knew was there, He could say in triumph, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.”

Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of the Holy Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].” (None Were With Him, April 2009 General Conference)

I'm so grateful to a loving, wise, and all knowing Heavenly Father who knows all our weaknesses and difficulties and who knows what trials we need to go through, even though I can't yet say like Paul that "I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong," (2 Corinthians 12:10)  I'm also grateful for a loving Savior who walked alone so that I don't have to.

Ye Cannot Bear All Things Now: Line Upon Line

As I was working this morning, I was thinking about some scriptures a friend share with me a while back:  D&C 50:40-41 and D&C 78:18.  There's one line that really sticks out to me:  "ye cannot bear all things now."  I was especially thinking about how we learn and we grow line upon line, precept upon precept.  It was neat to ponder on how the Lord doesn't expect perfection of us, and nor should we even when others may expect or even demand it of us.  Most especially, I don't need to expect it either.  I can make mistakes, I can mess up, and that does not make me a bad person, nor does it cause the Lord's love to be withdrawn from me.  I'm still loved and cared about by my Heavenly Father.

It's also neat to think about how the Lord intended it to be this way, growing and learning a little at a time until the day when we get to meet him again, and He can say to us "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

Don't forget not to beat yourself up when you're imperfect, but just do the best you can, asking for God's help and thanking Him for every opportunity you receive to grow and learn.  I hope that I can do this as well.  Thanks everyone!  Love you all!!

The Savior Wants to Forgive Sins

I was thinking again about the enabling power of the Atonement, and thought about a talk from Elder Craig A. Cardon from the April 2011 General Conference:  "The Savior Wants to Forgive Sins."  A few things in particular stood out to me:

In this forgiveness we see the enabling and the redeeming power of the Atonement harmoniously and graciously applied. If we exercise faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the enabling power of His Atonement strengthens us in our moment of need, and His redeeming power sanctifies us as we “[put] off the natural man.” This brings hope to all, especially to those who feel that recurring human weakness is beyond the Savior’s willingness to help and to save.

I've struggled again this morning with my anxiety because of many stressors in my life at the moment, not the least of which is trying to figure out how to help my wife during her pregnancy and how best to prepare to become a father.  As I was pondering on these things, this talk came back into my mind, especially since I have been struggling because of thinking errors in feeling as if I am not a good person.  Though much evidence says contrary to this, especially in my desire and willingness to serve God and others, yet it still is difficult for me to get by these thoughts of lack of self-worth.


It has been more difficult in this bout with anxiety as I had such a wonderful weekend and felt that perhaps I might be finally free from the effects of my anxiety disorder.  Yet, I know that the Lord will continue to heal me if I don't give up, and if I continue to strive to overcome my difficulties and seek to keep His commandments.

It is so neat to ponder on the Savior's Atonement, that even if I were in rebellion and full of sin, Christ and Heavenly Father would still love me.  More importantly, it helps uplift me to feel that they love me despite my weaknesses even when, in my difficulties and struggles in thinking properly, I feel all around me hate me for my mistakes.

It is also neat to see the growth I have made, and how it is okay not yet to be perfect.  I sure love my Heavenly Father, who seeks to remind me that it is okay just to be me, and to be the best me that I can be.  No more is required from Him than this.

For God Hath not Given Us the Spirit of Fear

I was reflecting today on fear, and especially a scripture a friend shared with me:  "For God hath not given us the Spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Tim. 1:7)  I looked this up on the LDS.org website, and I came across a couple of talks that I think will be really neat to read.  I have to head off and teach violin lessons in a bit, but I thought I'd stick these on here really quick before I left:

"God Hath Not Given Us the Spirit of Fear" from President Hinkley, Oct 1984.
"Live by Faith and Not by Fear" from Elder Quentin L. Cook in October 2007.

Take Care, Everyone!  :)

Chastening and trials

It's been neat for me recently to reflect on the trials that I have faced and how they have shaped me for the better.  This includes my anxiety disorder and the struggles with mental illness.  I was reminded of a talk by Elder Christofferson from the April 2011 General Conference.  I loved the reminder that God chastens us because He loves us.  At around this time, I had had a class on campus where we talked about how loving someone truly sometimes involves hurting them for their good.  When I or others don't let others know that they need to make a change because we are afraid they may be upset with us, it is good to reflect on whether this is out of selfish self interest.  Sometimes we do need to hurt those we love and chasten them, and it is so neat that God does this so freely and willingly, knowing perfectly what His children's reactions will be, that some will reject Him and His loving counsel.

It is certainly neat to reflect on the goodness of God giving men what they need, even if they end up choosing to ignore those things.  He does for His children what they need, despite what He knows will happen because He knows it is what they need, and they have the ultimate choice of what to do with it.

I hope I can accept God's love inspired counsel and rebuke more willingly, and that I can be more like our Heavenly Father in this regard, chastening those around me in a loving way when they need to know they could do better, even when I may fear they may reject the counsel or even my as a person because of it.

The Lord's Law of Health and Freedom from Bondage

Today I was pondering more on how the Lord's laws allow us to be free from bondage and increase our ability to act and not be acted upon.  In particular, the Lord's law of health was on my mind.  Today was my first day at work, and I had a lot to learn and take in.  My wife and I had planned in advance to prepare in case I would need to go in this morning, so last night we put together a lunch I could take and a breakfast.  My anxiety disorder has Hypoglycemic symptoms, and the remedies can oftentimes be the same:  eat right, sleep enough, stay fit and healthy.

I got to work and was so grateful we had prepared in advance as by the 5 minute break we took I could feel my blood-sugar level dropping.  The only available food was donuts, chocolate milk, and orange juice.  All of these have too much unnatural sugar for my body to be able to handle well.  However, I had already had two small breakfasts which was enough to keep me going until the end of work.  Definitely glad I had had those.

It made me think of what might have happened had we not prepared and made sure that I would have the healthy foods I needed.  I know that especially in difficult circumstances where there's a lot of stress, I start to struggle with my anxiety more, and I had some symptoms today while working, but not near as bad as they could have been.  Because I took care of my body, I was more free from the anxiety and more free to act and not be acted upon.

This is the way it is with all of God's commandments:  when you do what God, in His infinite wisdom, has asked you to do, you end up being able to do more than you can normally by yourself.  Some neat insights for me.

Rebellion vs. Weakness: finding strength in Christ

Yesterday morning, I had the opportunity to be up early pondering some things going on in my life.  I had been called in to work the night before but, as I was driving to Idaho Falls, I was given a call to let me know that I wouldn't be needed that day.

It was a really great opportunity for me, and I'm really grateful that I was called in even if I didn't get to work.  This is for a couple of reasons.  The first was that I'm getting closer to starting work at a new job.  I almost made it in!  I have been struggling with feelings of self-worth lately, especially since my wife and my financial circumstances are a little more difficult at the moment.  There is part of me that feels that it is my fault that I don't have a better job, because of my struggles with mental illness and more particularly the social anxiety.  To be called in, even if I didn't end up getting to work, was really awesome.  I have awesome supervisors, too, who keep letting me know that they appreciate me even if I haven't yet been able to work for them.

The other reason was that I was up and awake, and I had the opportunity to go for a walk around the falls at 5 am.  Really quiet, really peaceful and calm, and I was totally alone out there.  As I walked, I was able to vocally share some of what I had been thinking about my circumstances with my Heavenly Father in prayer.  Most especially, the setting reminded me that God really does love His children.  It was so somber, so peaceful, so beautiful.

I also happened to have with me my mp3 player that had some talks from general conference.  In the still and quiet hours of the early morning, I listened as Elder Richard G. Scott (Personal Strength through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, October 2013 General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) talked about the Ammonites and their sons known as the stripling warriors.  The Spirit brought out some things to me as I listened to Elder Scott's words.  Especially this line stuck out to me:

"The joyful news for anyone who desires to be rid of the consequences of past poor choices is that the Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion. Whereas the Lord warns that unrepented rebellion will bring punishment, when the Lord speaks of weaknesses, it is always with mercy."

 What a comfort this was to me in my distress and worry over my ability to provide for my wife and, in about 7 months, our little baby.  The Holy Ghost brought the words of Ether 12:27 to my mind, and I felt the Lord's approval, and His assurances that it was all going to be okay, for His "grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before [Him]; for if they humble themselves before [Him], and have faith in [Him], then will [He] make weak things become strong unto them."

One more reason I was grateful to Heavenly Father for the early morning yesterday:  I needed time to gain strength and energy for the evening that I had planned on using to rest.  Instead of this, my wife was on Facebook and saw my aunt's post that she was heading to the hospital because my grandpa was feeling really sick.  We ended up being in the hospital until 12:30 am.  I had been awake for almost 21 hours when Brooke and I finally got home. I don't know how I would've handled a 21 hour day, unsure how best to support grandpa and grandma and the others who were there during this trial if I had also worked for a total of 9 hours.  As things were, I only worked about 2 and a half hours and had time to rest my body and mind before finding all of what had happened out, and I had enough energy for the evening.  Even more wonderful, though stress, fatigue, and general tiredness all normally cause my anxiety problems to become more difficult, my struggles with anxiety that night were minimal.  I can only imagine how much worse they could have been if I had ended up working in
addition to all that occurred.

I am sure grateful for a kind and wise Heavenly Father who can make use of so many of my circumstances to teach me through the Holy Ghost, and who shows me of His love by reminding me that everything is going to be okay through His grace.

Men's Hearts Shall Fail Them

I got to watch a neat Mormon Messages yesterday with my wife for our weekly Family Home Evening.  I felt this one from Elder Nelson was especially great for me:



Having the anxiety disorder I struggle with, I loved these words: "To the individual who is weak in the heart, fearful in the heart:  be patient with yourself.  Perfection comes not in this life, but in the next one.  Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement.  As you let the Lord help you through that He will make the difference."

My fight with mental illness: the purpose of this blog

Hiya all!  For my first entry in this blog, I thought I'd share a little of my beliefs and the reason and purposes of this blog.
First of all, I am a Christian, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I love my Savior.  I had been hoping to find a way to share my beliefs with others and also to share hope and the love of God with those who don't yet know that they have a Father in Heaven and a loving Savior who both wish to have them be happy.  The Apostles and Prophets of the LDS Church have been encouraging its members to use technology to share their testimony and belief with the world of the things that they believe, and I felt a blog about my experiences with Mental Illness, in particular Social Anxiety Disorder, would be an appropriate way to do so.
I have been praying and pondering on what things I can do to help in my fight with mental illness, and I felt that not only would sharing my experiences of my fight with this struggle could help and lift others, but it would help me to be more grateful for the help my Heavenly Father gives me and would remind me that I truly am loved by an omniscient, omnipotent, immortal and perfectly loving God.  That's got to give any one of us a great boost to our day knowing that our Father in Heaven thinks so highly of us that He sent His Only Begotten Son so we could make it back to Him.

So:  my purpose for this blog is to share thoughts about my struggles, music and other uplifting media and resources that have helped to uplift me, and anything else that may help others in their own battles with the trials given us by God to help us become the strong and compassionate people He knows we are capable of coming.

For those of you out there struggling to overcome struggles with any kind of mental illness, I would testify that God knows your struggle, and He will help you overcome it.  He continues to help me with my own social anxiety and other difficulties, and He will, as you remain humble and full of faith in Him, "lead thee by the hand and give thee answer to thy prayer" ("Be Thou Humble," Hymn 130 in the LDS Hymn Book).