Patience and the Law of Eternal Progression

Some hard trials today (a serious relapse of anxiety) has reminded me of God's kindness and His long-suffering towards us.  I was working hard at my job, struggling with anxiety issues at the same time we were quite busy.  As I tried to overcome my own personal shyness and do something difficult at work, one of the employees seemed upset. My anxiety increased because of this, fearing I had done something that may have upset her.  At one point during the day, I heard her saying my name, and I even heard her say:  "I'm going to slap Tim if he does that one more time."  Now, it may have been the anxiety that caused me to misjudge what I overheard, but I'm almost certain that's what I heard.  She seemed quite genial to me later, but I don't know what to trust even now:  what I knew I heard and felt - which was hostility and anger towards me - or how she treated me.
Either way, this caused me a great deal of pain, anguish, and raised my anxiety levels to an unbearable state.  I have, in fact, not had this bad of anxiety for a long time - 2-3 years at least.

My difficulty comes in two forms:  How do I forgive someone who continues to treat me like this and cause me such pain (this isn't the first time she's treated me and others poorly like this)? and how do I forgive myself for struggling like this?

In my struggle, I continue to blame myself for my weaknesses.  I was grateful to read this morning and be reminded of Ether 12:27, and especially this line:  "I give unto men weakness that they may be humble, and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."  Not only that, I remembered that God's plan is the plan of Eternal Progression, not of instant progression.  We are here to learn "line upon line, precept upon precept."

I'm also grateful for these words from Elder Holland:

If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.  (Like a Broken Vessel, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland)

I sometimes forget that I have come a long way from where I was.  When I started college, I couldn't go to anyone's house to hang out.  In high school, I struggled with deep depression.  In Junior High, I didn't want to leave the house to go to school because I was so afraid.  Even 5 years ago, I never thought that I could ever hold a job or have a family, and I've been able to hold around 4-5 small part time jobs at once, I've been teaching, I've held 3 jobs with 2 being extremely fast-paced and high stress, I've made a difference in my community, and I have made friends and changed lives.  I'm starting a family, and am dealing with the stress that comes from that, and I continue to struggle and fight against all difficulties.  Though I had the worse relapse I have had in a long while, I continue to persevere and move forward. Despite the pain and fear I struggle with every day of my life, with God's help and through Christ's grace that truly does "make weak things become strong," I can make it through this and all other trials.

Keep me in your prayers, my dear friends:  I may be in for a struggle ahead.  But with Christ and God and the support of my wonderful family and friends, I can make it.

Love you all!

"Thy friends do stand by thee, and shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands."  (D&C 121:9)